Sunday, January 4, 2009

Five Monthsish - Just Stuff

My hormones are WACKY these days! I'm losing all my hair, my skin's a complete disaster, I've had some weird spotting (no period though) and my moods are just all over the map from minute to minute almost.

We even had a bizarre what-if-we're-pregnant-again week last week. I took pregnancy tests EVERY DAY for 4 days and of course with Al's surgery (back in November) and my nursing though the night still, it all came out negative but I sure FELT pregnant for a few days!

Peanut had a few nights of sleeping VERY well, only getting up once a night and sleeping 6 hours at a stretch, but that has all ended as quickly as it began and he's back to getting up to eat every 3 to 3 1/2 hours.

We've started him on cereal - I can't remember exactly when, maybe 2 weeks ago? And I know it's not 100% advisable/approved by the American Association of Pediatricians, but the boy was hungry ALL THE TIME and miserable, so we tried him with some cereal mixed with breastmilk and he slurped it down like he'd been doing it all his life. He's eaten two small meals daily (breakfast and dinner) for awhile now but yesterday we added a lunch portion as well. He just loves to eat his little meals and he kicks and smiles and coos through them happily unless the spoon isn't getting into his mouth fast enough and then he whines and cries for Mama or Daddy to hurry up.

It's amazing how this has actually IMPROVED our nursing relationship. He still nurses just as often, pretty much, but it's so much more relaxed and happy vs. his being frantic and my being stressed out. Now he eats and pulls off and looks up at me and GRINS into my eyes, whereas before the cereal he'd pull off angrily and cry sometimes. I feel like it's improved things overall for him and for me, though we still have a long way to go before I feel like myself again. I am trying hard not to rush him along but this waking time and time again is beginning to wear so much on me. I mean it's worn on me all along but I just see the toll it takes on me emotionally and how dead I feel from tiredness and how that takes away from Bean and Al and my other relationships, friendships, etc. That's such a recurring theme in my life right now - how much I adore my boy but how I ache to be able to invest more time and energy in the other people I love. But not at his expense.

He's just a different baby at this point than Bean was. She'd become happier and more predictable by now, I think (I didn't start diarying her life until she was almost six months so I'm not 100% sure of exactly what she was like). I think she was only getting up once a night by now, too, and by six months she went through a phase of sleeping through the night although that didn't last very long, I don't think. But after four months I don't think she ever got up more than once a night unless she was sick. Of course she was guzzling tons of formula by that point, too.

Peabody's very very physical and busy these days grabbing and holding and shaking toys, teething on EVERYTHING, and try, try, trying to get mobile when he's on the floor. He can roll from front to back easily still but hasn't QUITE made the back to front maneuvre on his own. He so loathes being on his front that I'm not sure he'll EVER learn that until he learns to crawl and HAS to get on his front to do it. And since he's a tummy sleeper, not being able to get onto his tummy from his back after he's flipped himself over is a major interrupter to his sleep.

OY. I am feeling rather negative about the whole baby thing right now. He took two wonderful naps yesterday - 2 hours each! But then the night sleep was awful. Maybe that was too much sleep for him? I don't know.

Also, Peabody is a major spitter-upper! I burp and burp and burp him after his meals, both liquid and solid, and still he spits up after each of them. Sometimes it can be quite a bit and others it's a fairly small amount. I just wonder why he does that and how much longer he WILL do it. I'm getting a bit weary of smelling like sour milk all the time, and I worry there's somthing wrong with him. He doesn't show signs of any major problems and he's of course gaining weight like nobody's business, so it can't be serious. And he's always done it - since he was tiny, so it's nothing new.

Well he's up now (the naps aren't going well today at all!) so I'm off to get him again.

ARGH.

I miss the rest of my family so much. And me. I miss ME.

9 comments:

Mari said...

Aaagh - you poor thing! I think he is getting this all out of his system now and will be the easiest toddler ever! You are doing great t - just hang in there. I think another month will make a difference!

Melissa said...

Aww, I agree with Mari that in just one short month, you'll feel like you've got an entirely different baby. And you'll feel like an entirely different Mama, too. :o)
It's awesome that he's such a good little eater...although I'm sure that isn't a surprise, right? :o) Mookie is the same way - like a baby bird just opening her mouth every time the spoon comes her way. It's so much fun to watch her enjoy food. (And, sadistically, also fun to see her face when she doesn't like what I'm feeding her!) :o)
Hopefully January will go quickly, and you'll have some nice weather to get the kids out of the house some.

Leigh said...

I understand the spitting up! Sophie is just the same. She has always done it since she was little, that and dribbling. I have been asked since she was about a month and a half old if she is teething! And all the spitting up doesn't seem to be doing her any harm as she is growing like a weed! And at the moment, I am with you on the sleep. Being away on holiday has totally messed up Sophie's sleeping. I am lucky if she manages a 4 hour stretch at night. Usually she is waking about every 2 hours. Going from 10 hours at a stretch to 2, wow I am like a zombie! Let's hope our spitty, dribbly little darlings start sleeping better eh!!

Shelly said...

Oh Meghan, I am so with you on that feeling like a Zombie thing - especially with #2. My youngest, just turned 2, and I just think I snapped out of it - yikes.

I also remember walking around with spit up on my left shoulder and in my hair all the time.

You'll get through it. We all do. But you have seen breakthroughs, and there will be more!

Megryansmom said...

Have you had your thyroid checked recently, hair loss, spotting, those are all signs of hypothyroidism. Just sayin. Have a great day.

Rambling On said...

I know this won't come as much comfort to you and I will laugh back at you when you say it to me...but, just remember that this time is going to fly by so fast. Once he reaches 6 months he will be a completely different baby. Once he cold a cracker and sit up by himself and crawl. If the cereal and breastmilk is working, that's great. As for the sleeping thing, all babies are programmed differently. Camden sure was. I had 9 miserable months before he seemed developmentally ready to sleep through the night. They go through so much. Teeth, colds, new foods. And it was so true, the minute he leanred a new trick, he seemed more restless at night. Things would revert. Their busy little brains are working so hard to grow and learn. You are doing a great job and it sounds like you could use a nice coffee with a good friend and a short hour away. To recharge. See if you can fit it in.

Peter and Nancy said...

You are in the trenches, all right. It's hard living on broken sleep, and it affects everything else. I'm with the mama who commented right before me -- sounds like dinner or coffee out with a friend(s) might help you feel a little more human. Hold on through this rough part of the baby ride!
Hugs,
Nancy

Nina said...

The hair loss is completely normal. I doubt it has anything to do with your thyroid! They say it's normal to lose up to 500 strands per day post partum (a normal amount is 100or so per day). I am also losing a ton of hair (Andrew's now 4 1/2 months old). I notice it especially while in the shower. Andrew is also a spitter. He was taking Prevacid when he was smaller. Even now, he still spits up during/after a feeding. I keep two burp cloths on hand during a feeding, and the first one gets drenched after I burp him when nursing him on the first side. Are you planning on having any more children?

Alice said...

I'm soooo late commenting on this post!! I only just realised it was here, as I haven't checked this blog in a while.

I just wanted to reassure you with my vast (haha!) experience of a) spitty-uppy babies, and b) truckloads of hair falling out of my head. The spitty-uppyness will stop after he's mastered sitting up unaided, and once he's spending much of his time doing that. I don't know why really, but that's when it all of a sudden goes away. All mine have been super pukesome like that, and I just had to wait out till they were sitting for a while, and then it was fine.

Ohhhh the hair I've lost over the years... I could stuff a mattress probably! ;) For me, it starts about 4 months PP and continues till about 9-or-so months. It's my least favourite postpartum aspect, seriously. And the lochia, yeurgh. And the crew cut thing when the regrowth of hair starts. But I didn't really need to expand on that, sorry! ;) Can't stand the hair loss! I hope it's quick for you (did it happen with Bean or is it a boy thing??), and don't worry - you will not even look like your hair is thinning, though it will seem like that HAS to be the case after a time! ;) It's all normal. xxx

My Lil Family