Two Scoops

I just celebrated what may be my final day of nursing Peabody with a dish of Ben & Jerry's Cookie Dough ice cream.

Since I'll be away from my sweet boy for nearly 4 days straight, I'm thinking it's possible, if not probable, that my milk will dry up this weekend. But maybe not, and I'll certainly offer to nurse him at bedtime, as I have done for many, many months now, when I get home. He's been happy to go to bed without me a few times this month, which gives me reassurance that he's ready and going to be fine if we do end up "weaning" (for want of a better way to put it, really) now.

It has been a wild and mostly wonderful ride, and I will miss breastfeeding if it's over, but I'm also proud, so proud, to have made it to now - Peabody's second birthday (minus two days), as a nursing pair. And a part of me is ready to let it go if now's the time. I'm ready for my cycle to be more back to my own "normal" (it's been very iffy for 2 years!) and to have my skin and hair and weight go back to normal, too. But I will miss the closeness with Matthew. I hope he'll be okay with cuddling and rocking before bed, because I would hate to give that up, too. I love my cuddly, sweet, lovey little boy so much.

Matthew will be TWO when I see him after this weekend (I'll be walking in the Susan G. Komen 3-Day for the Cure). I will miss his actual birthday on Saturday which makes me so sad, but we will celebrate him next weekend as a family. I can't believe he's 2 already, and lately have felt really nostalgic for the days just before and after his birth. He was the sweetest little newborn ever and I'd love to just hold that tiny Peabody again just one more time. But oh, what a wonderful toddler he is these days. He is talking more than ever and he totally has me wrapped around his little finger with his larger than life, crazy, silly, affectionate budding personality. I can't wait to see him every morning when he wakes up, and lately I've wanted to linger in his room at night after I've tucked him in, just to marvel at his sweet "Nigh-nigh"s and tell him over and over again how much I love him. (He loves me too. So much. I love how he loves me!)

I will post more soon about my charming little man. For now I just wanted to get some thoughts down and mark this special occasion. Two years! Never thought I could do it, but I did. We did. And I am so amazed by and thankful for that!