Saturday, April 12, 2008

23 Weeks, 1 day. Just another pregnant woman rambling.

Not a lot to report, pregnancy-wise this week. Peanut continues to move about like crazy in there. He is SO much more mobile and active and THERE than B ever was. I feel movements NOW that resemble what I only felt at the last of my pregnancy with Bean. He's a flopper, a puncher, a kicker and a hic-upper, BIG TIME. Al's eyes get HUGE and he can't BELIEVE what he can feel his baby boy doing from the outside. This morning he put Bean's teddybear under his pajama top and had it flapping around wildly. "What are you DOING?" I asked him, "Trying to imagine what that feels like!" he said, pointing to my Peanut-filled belly. "You can't imagine, I don't think. It's like nothing else, ever," I assured him. But it was mighty cute that he was trying.

I do feel as if I'm finally beginning to bond with my tiny little man. I imagine what his eyes will be like - I hope they're like Al's: big, brown, almond-shaped eyes. And I hope that he, like his Daddy and his big brother and his sisters, has a GREAT BIG room-lighting-up smile. Can you imagine being the Mama in a family of five such smiles? Wow. I hope he's funny and silly and easy-going like Bean and Buddy, and not serious and stubborn like I suppose I was as a kid. (Although Bean's going through a not-so-easygoing phase right now, I have to admit.)

I still panic a little thinking of having TWO kids to be responsible for, take care of, entertain and keep safe, but Al has been very reassuring. In many regards, he says, having two can be a little easier than one, particularly in the entertaining arena. They will have one another, and Peanut, when he's Bean's age, will spend time with his big sister, whereas she spends all of her time and energy on ME.

In general, I am feeling so much better. I'm back in my kitchen cooking and loving it, eating much healthier, having more energy except the past two days when all I've wanted to do is sleep, and my overall outlook is better and brighter. I'm beginning to think about and plan and prepare for, even if it's just mentally, the first few months after P's born. It's easier to be realistic and practical, now that I know what it's really like to have a newborn around. I know I will need to ratchet my expectations of getting things done way down, that I will have to accept a certain amount of dirt, disarray, and disorder for awhile and this time I want to just try to be comfortable with that since I know now for certain that the time goes by quickly and soon I'll be able to get back to "normal" again. That there's no need to expect so very, very much of myself just days after my boy's born. Well, or to expect a different set of "very muchness" in his first weeks.

I would say I'm worried how B will adjust to not having all my attention, but she doesn't have it all right now. And in subtle ways I'm preparing her, I think, for what's coming. Slowly giving her some independence and responsibility for her simple day to day routine. She's responsible for making her own bed (not that she can really do it yet but she has to start somewhere) and for putting on the clothes I lay out for her and brushing her teeth. It takes her forever and requires many reminders to keep her focused and get these things done, but she's only three. These things take time, and I'd rather spend the time now with her than to dump it all on her just as P gets here. She's ready for and embraces the responsibilities and is a great help to me in general when I have the time to patiently show and tell her how to do things. I just have to be careful not to get ahead of myself, or of her. It's so fun to watch her learn, when I handle the teaching the right way.

I gained a couple of pounds this week, all overnight Monday night, I think, as usual. It's hard to get a real handle on how much I gain day to day though for many reasons. Nothing about my eating or digestion is ever exactly the same from one weigh-in to the next. I can't "control" for everything, so most days the bottom line is nothing more than an extrapolated, educated guess. I project I won't gain much more than I did last time, but maybe a little bit more, based on where things stand right now. Who knows... I eat even MORE healthily and get a ton more exercise in the summer months up here than I do in the winter. My arms and legs and waist are still the same as they were when I first got pregnant, and even my behind, despite Al's goof-up Friday morning, so right now it's just my belly growing. And it is GROWING.

The belly gallery has been updated and now I am going to take a nap!


Mari said...

I'm so glad you are feeling better! I think this will be an easy baby, because he's getting all his difficult periods out of the way now! Al is right about the two of them entertaining each other. It really helps to have another one around sometimes. I'm off to check the belly gallery.

Melissa said...

Yay for feeling better! And getting back to your "normal" routine of cooking and eating healthy. I think being close to normal is just as important for my psyche as it is for the rest of my life. :o)
Bean will be a great big sister, and will teach many many things to Peanut. And they're both lucky to have you as their Mama.

Rebekah said...

Having (as I call it) two sets of kids, I can assure you that Bean will not miss a thing from you when Peanut arrives.

Josh was 27 months when Caleb was born. I was already in mommy-mode taking care of Josh, it was really no adjustment to add Caleb to the list. I just did things in twos- change diapers, fix lunch, give a bath. The grocery store had just come out with those two-seater carts so I was good to go.

You'll do just fine. So will Bean

Rebekah said...

I may need to clarify what I meant by two-sets of kids. Josh and Caleb/ Gracie and Suzie. Gracie was 21 months when Suzie came along and Gracie did just fine adjusting- just as Josh did when Caleb came along

CanCan said...

I felt a lot of guilt toward Jojo when Deaky was born. Before The Second, Jojo was my WORLD, my buddy! But he hasn't skipped a beat. About 2 weeks after I got home from the hospital, Jojo said that we needed another baby in my belly. And now he talks about needing 2 brothers and 2 sisters.

My Lil Family