Monday, November 3, 2008

12 Weeks 4 days - A Day in the Life

First day after we've "fallen back."

I've been having some issues with waking up in the night and feeling like the previous day was wasted - that I was out of control and disorganized, that the kids' day didn't have enough structure, that I didn't get anything done. It all translates to a brutal 2 AM realization that I'm a horrible mother and wife.

And that's not fun to contemplate at any time of the day.

So I decided to write down a day's activity with the kids so I can look at it objectively and SEE for myself what needs fixing, or if maybe I'm just not able to see the forest for the trees and things are really fine.

I do know that the END of each day, right as Al gets home, is the hardest, most chaotic, most exhausting time, and I do need to work on that time period to see if I can take some of the angst out of it.

5:45 AM - Peanut cries. Up to feed him. He eats one side and falls back to sleep. I put him back into his bed a little after 6. Meanwhile, I hear Bean come out of her own room and begin to cry.

6:10 AM - I hug Bean and walk her to my room, settle her among the pillows and blankets.

6:15 AM - After running to the bathroom, I go get Peanut out of his bed, change his diaper and settle him in my bed with Bean. I go to the kitchen for Bean's hot cocoa and my coffee.

6:30ish - We all hang out on my bed together. Bean and I play with Peanut, I check my email on my laptop.

7:00 - Bean watches Arthur while I nurse Peanut (the other side).

7:15 - We play with Peanut a little more before he starts to act sleepy.

7:30 - I take Peanut back to his room for a diaper change, little rocking and nursing to sleep.

7:45 - Peanut falls asleep

8:00 - I transfer him to his bed.

8:00 - 9:00 - I make the beds, get Bean's clothes out for her, take a shower, do my hair and make-up and get dressed. Bean gets dressed, then plays computer games with the TV on, in my room. I do Bean's hair.

9:00 - Peanut awake. We all go downstairs together. Peanut sits in his bouncy chair while I make breakfast and eat it. Bean stays at the table with Peanut at her feet in the bouncy chair while I clean up breakfast, assemble the crockpot lasagna for dinner, load and turn-on the dishwasher and wipe down all the countertops and the table.

9:35 - I nurse Peanut, both sides, while Bean watches TV.

10:00 - Everybody back upstairs. Bean and I change Peanut into his clothes for the day. All three of us have impromptu jam session to a Carribean Steeldrum CD in Peanut's "white noise" machine.

10:15 - Bean and I brush our teeth while Peanut plays on the floor of my room.

10:25 - We all load up in the car and head out for KidRock.

11:15 - Peanut falls asleep in my arms while Bean's in her class.

11:45 - Home from KidRock, Peanut awake in his carseat. We stay outside, Bean playing, Peanut looking around, me talking to both of them.

12:15ish - Nicki and Bubba walk over and join us. I nurse Peanut, both sides.

12:30 - Nicki holds Peanut, kids play, I eat a snack and drink some water.

1:20 - Nicki and Bubba leave, we clean up driveway and come inside.

1:30 - I take Peanut up and nurse him briefly on both sides (he didn't nurse well outside).

1:45 - Peanut is asleep. I accidentally nod off too.

2:00 - I wake up and put Peanut in his bed. I go down and give Bean a snack and get her into bed.

2:15 - Bean up to go potty, and back down. I work on the computer (writing this).

2:50 - Large, loud truck goes by back of house. Peanut startles awake and cries for several minutes. I go in, pick him up, pat/rock/bounce him back to sleep, and put him down.

3:00 - Peanut back in his bed asleep. Me back on computer. Bean napping.

More to come later ...

3:30 - Peanut awake. I get him up and feed him. Both sides. Good feed.

3:45 - Peanut in his bouncy chair on counter (bad Mama) while I empty dishwasher, set table, and get coffee pot set up for tomorrow morning.

4:00 - Bean awake and downstairs.

4:10 - We put on shoes and jackets and go out to play with neighbors. Bean plays with kids, I talk to the Mamas. The Mamas hold Peanut.

5:10 - Peanut getting cranky. Take both kids inside, give Bean a light snack. Kill time playing with Peanut.

5:30 - Bean watching Arthur. Take P upstairs, change him into his pajamas, feed him (both sides).

5:45 - Peanut asleep.

6:00 - Put Peanut into his bed. Go downstairs and play games with Bean.

6:30 - Bean and I finish getting dinner ready.

6:45 - Get Bean into her pajamas. Start to read a few books.

6:47 - Daddy home!

7:00 - Dinner for Bean, Daddy, Mama.

7:30 - Clean up dinner dishes together.

7:45 - Daddy helps Bean brush her teeth.

7:49 - Peanut wakes up. Cries for several minutes. I go in, try to soothe him - no luck. Pick him up. He sucks his fist and roots around. Hungry!

8:00 - Feed Peanut bottle of expressed milk. He sucks it down like he hasn't eaten in a week.

8:15 - Peanut full and back asleep. I put him in his bed and head for the bathtub for a soak while Al sits on the floor chatting with me.

8:30 - Al and I climb into bed to watch mind-numbing TV.


Southern Fried Girl said...

That day made me tired as crap.

Melissa said...

I think you are an AMAZING mama -- not an ounce of failure in sight. You are always engaged with your kids when they are awake, you are playing and talking and singing and dancing and just BEing with them...and that is a HUGE positive mama-trait in my book.
Plus, PLUS you do things like make beds and wipe counters and put make-up on! Wowzers, Batman! You put the ROCK in KidRock.
I have to believe, for you and for me, that God gave us these babies, and He will empower us to raise them to be incredible, intelligent, kind, warm, loving people.
I hope that at the end of the day you look back on your looooong list of activities for the day and know in your heart that you have done EXACTLY what those two sweet kids needed, as well as what YOU needed. :o)
Happy Fall Back!

Melissa said...

BTW - speaking of crock-pots, have you seen this site: ?
She posts a new crock-pot recipe every day.
It's good stuff, Maynard.

BerryBusyMom said...

I was in your shoes about 5 1/2 years ago. I felt like I wasn't doing anything, either. So I wrote out my day like you just did and it amazed me how much I actually did do. I think that you do more that I did, but I was nursing two babies, so I was naked more that you ;-). I'm pretty sure that I didn't start putting on make-up or cleaning anything up for SEVERAL months after the girls came.

Evenings were ALWAYS (and still are) rough. I think that we Mommas are dog tired by that time and we know that we still have a LONG way to go, and we know that it is *thisclose* until reinforcements are here. And the kids are tired and hungry and they can sense our panic.

You are doing a great job and believe it or not, it will get much better....


Tequilamonky said...

Looks just like a normal day with two kids (one of whom is a little baby) to me. You're doing great, there's fun and laughter in there and you're clearly making time for both your children and your husband.

I know it feels like a treadmill right now but it does ease up. The only thing that can change it really is Peanut getting older and that's happening all the time so hang on in there. As I've said before I found it got easier in threes, so at 3 months it eased up a bit, then 6 months, then 9 months etc. Now suddenly I've turned around and my youngest is 2 1/2 and he and his sister are colouring in while they have their breakfast at the table giving me a chance to nip on here. I could never have imagined that 2 years ago!

You're a great mum, hang on in there! xxxxxxx

T with Honey said...

There's so much going on in your day it makes me tired just to read through it. I think I'll bookmark this post for the next time I have insomnia.

Corey~living and loving said...

So now the question did you feel after writing and reading this? I hope better, because I saw a wonderful day. :)

this One's for the girls said...

I am shocked that you make the beds with an infant in the house. And, you can see your countertops in order to be able to wipe them down. :o) You're doing exactly what you need to be doing -- keeping a comfy, livable home while doing the one job that only you can do: being your kids' mom.
-- Nancy

Bloggin' Mama said...

I think your day looks wonderful!

I too feel like I'm spinning my wheels most days (4 yr. old, 2 yr. old and 8 week old) so I think I'm going to borrow this idea and see what all I really do accomplish on a normal day, maybe then I'll not feel so frazzled at the unclean bathtubs and unvacuumed floor..... Thanks for the idea and keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

The fact that you can even recall what you do in a day is amazing to me. I still lay in bed at night and wonder where my days go. Don't doubt yourself. you are doing an amazing job with those beautiful children!!!


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