37 weeks. Full term Peanut.

Whooohooooooo! We have arrived, me boy!

Now come on out of there so Mama can reshuffle her internal organs and stop wearing the same thing every day. And get in and out of chairs without creaking and groaning.

So let's see. It's been awhile. I've had a bunch of period-like aches and cramps for the past 10 days to two weeks. Cervix was still closed, fluid levels fine and baby plenty reactive at Monday's OB/GYN appointment which included an ultrasound (saw Peanut's lil face - he looks like Bean, but then again, they both looked like aliens in ultrasounds, so...) and a 20 minute non-stress test. Which was nice because I went alone and got to read a WHOLE MAGAZINE ARTICLE while I was there. I go back this coming Monday at 9 AM for a repeat of same except I'm not 100% sure she'll do another ultrasound.

On the not-so-fun-or-pleasant front, I have a bleeding hemorrhoid that hurts like the Dickens all the time and makes sitting and standing for any amount of time seriously awful. But life goes on, you know. What can you do? I'm trying to keep it from getting any worse by resting lying down when I can and doing the normal things one does for one of these guys. It's embarrassing and worrisome and a nuisance and I worry I won't have it healed up before delivery and then what'll happen? EEEK.

I am thinking once again that Peanut has moved down into my pelvis. The heartburn's eased off once more and the frequent trips to the potty have resumed. Also, if I stand up for awhile, I get that achey grinding/pinching feeling down on my cervix. As far as I can tell though, my cervix is still pretty high, so I doubt we're headed into labor anytime very soon. I'd actually welcome it any day now except for the hem-you-know-what which I'd like to get, you know, back where it belongs first.

I still have the lower back pain and hip pain off and on, and I am SO fretful and cranky and tired lately. Feels like the most hideous PMS EVER. I'm hoping this is just a phase and won't last until labor because UGH I don't like feeling this way!

I packed Peanut's little bag for the hospital last night. Just a soft white cotton thermal blanket, a few tiny diapers and a couple of littlebitty outfits. I packed the preemie stuff since that's what we needed for Bean after she was born, but maybe I should throw in a newborn outfit too? What if he weighs 8 lbs? (Perish the thought!) Oh, and a pacifier. Al's been on me to pack a bag for myself, too, and will have his packed this weekend, and he wants one ready for Bean in case we have to drop her off with a neighbor on our way to the hospital. He's so funny - does he not remember how long it took us to actually get to GO to the hospital from the onset of the contractions last time? Even if it only takes a fraction of that time for Peanut to come, we'll still be hanging around here long enough to throw some things in a bag, particularly knowing how LITTLE of the stuff we took last time actually got used.

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I'm adding this on Monday morning, at 37 weeks, 3 days. It was a good, restful but still productive weekend. Another huge flurry of "nesting" - Al installed a ceiling fan in our bedroom, which has been such a Godsend at night. Even though we've had our air conditioner set down pretty low, I've still been sweaty and hot each night. I sleep pretty well anyway, though - I just have to get up once to go potty, usually and other than that, it's a pretty solid night. When I first lie down in bed it does take awhile to get comfortable. It feels like Peanut is way too high on me at first, but then he seems to adjust to my position over a few hours and then I'm comfy again. Plus, Al usually gives me a nice backrub which helps unfurl my aching muscles AND takes my mind off the front portion of my body!

I'm starting to get the "how much longer?" inquiries every where I go. People who see me weekly know I must be getting close, I think, as I have that distinct look of a very pregnant person - the waddle, the panting, the general look of exhaustion. It's very strange to be able to say probably less than three weeks! And you know what? To anyone else less than three weeks seems a short time, but to me, it has a very foreverish sound to it, most of the time. But then I thought about it yesterday while I was sitting alone for a minute in the kitchen, and I got chills thinking that in 3 weeks or less, everything changes. That after those three weeks are over, we'll have Peanut at home with us, and the atmosphere will never again be quite as it is now. Hard to explain unless you've been there. Which I suppose everyone has in some way, whether they've ever added a new member to a family or not. Life altering events are so... life altering.

I know. I'm so profound.

I have my weekly OB visit this morning. I'm kindof looking forward to it and kindof dreading it. The non-stress test was nice, in that I had 20ish minutes of solitude, but it was very uncomfortable on that hard table on my back. I felt like a beetle, all stuck and wiggly but unable to get onto my side (because of the monitors, etc.) At home, I NEVER lie on my back - it's a horribly awkward and uncomfortable position. But it only lasts 20 minutes, so I'll make it.

Bean's really anticipating the arrival of her brother now. She seems to sense he's coming soon (of course she HEARS us and others saying that, as well) and she's been a little off, behaviorally. I mean, she's mostly fine, but she's a little whinier than I'd like on occasion and she has been testing a few boundaries and just generally getting into more trouble than usual. Part of it, I'm sure, is boredom, because we aren't quite as active as she'd like -- I am trying to keep her entertained as best I can, but some days I'm just tired out and blah and she has many hours to fill on her own, which she's not especially fond of or great at doing. Hopefully though this will ease her transition into have to share me. It'd be harder on her to have to go "cold turkey" from having my completely undivided attention to having me busy taking care of a newborn for huge portions of the day, overnight. I hope I'm making up for the reduced playing and entertainment time by being EXTRA loving and fun with her on the occasions that I can be. I tell her all the time that I love her so much and she's so special and important to me and that will never ever change no matter what.

I hope that sinks in. I'm not really worried about the long term ramifications of all this because she's going to have a sibling now - someone she can hopefully share everything with and who will be such an amazing addition to her life - just about how she'll adjust initially. She seems so excited and happy about it, but really, she has no clue what it's going to be like, no matter WHAT I tell her, you know? I think she's pretty tough and adaptable, though, and I KNOW she's very positive and receptive as long as she has her parents' support. So maybe it will go fine.

UGH. The waiting! It is so hard. Yet I'd be wise not to rush things, even in my own mind.