Sunday, July 27, 2008

38 Weeks, 2 Days: We Now Return You to Your Regularly Scheduled Programming

I hesitate to even post because now I know you're refreshing and expecting big news any minute, and I don't want to disappoint!

But nothing's going on. I had a few brief achey, grindy, stretchy moments last night before bed, then slept all night long (sweet relief!) with no cramping or anything (that I noticed, anyway.) This morning, still nothing, except that I am so SORE all over, like I ran a marathon or did something else very strenuous yesterday. My whole self hurts - even my HANDS ache. Very strange. But no cramping, just near-constant painless Braxton Hicks contractions.

I still think he's low, though.

We packed our bags for the hospital yesterday. Bean packed hers too, with ALL of her underwear and ALL of her pajamas. She thinks she's going with us to the hospital, but really we want a bag for her in case she needs to go stay with our neighbor overnight or something, which would be the case if I have Peanut before Nana gets here. She was so cute, though, talking about what she needed and putting things in for Peanut, like extra blankets and toys, in case he needed them. And then I tried to take a short nap but ended up having a long cry, thinking about dropping her off at Nicki's or Katie's and watching her run off excitedly to play, knowing the next time I saw her, I'd be somebody else's Mama, too, and never again would we just be Mamabean. Crying again now. I wish I didn't have all this weird sadness about it. It doesn't seem right or fair to Peanut to feel this way. I know it's "normal." But it feels wrong. I should be over it by now, shouldn't I?

Wheeeeeeeeee! That's enough of that.

Nothing physical to report. I think we can all "stand down" now. False alarm. Sorry!


Jemma said...

Oooh I wouldn't speak too soon, could still happen any moment....wheeeeeee!

Plus there is no such thing as a practise contraction acording to my wise midwife. Apparantly even the little painless ones do something. That's why my labour with Jove was only 48 minutes....I'd already had all the contactions with the pre-term labour stuff before ;)

Bless Bean and her PJs! Don't be sad, you're trying to imagine what you'll feel like when actually once the second is here your heart just expands to fit them both. Trust me honey you really can have two number one people in your life :D

Jenn said...

I wasn't over the sadness of having to share myself with two babies for even awhile after Boo was born. It's just.. different. Not better, not worse. Well, actually - it is better. Just takes some getting used to! For me, it was A LOT of guilt. Anyway.

I don't know what hospital policies are there but they changed them in Maine recently. When my SIL had her baby they had to have 5 blankets to keep the baby secure in her car seat. I thought maybe you would want to check on that so you wouldn't have to wait for someone to bring you in a bunch when it was time to come home from the hospital. (That's what happened to my SIL.) Of course, being a few states away, it probably isn't even the same there!

elaine@bloginmyeye said...

Remember, Bean's getting a gift too. It's gonna be great.

Mari said...

That Peanut is just sending out a few warning signals - "I'm coming soon - are you ready?" You'll be okay - I remember feeling like I didn't have enough in me to be a mom to 2 but you'll do great. I will warn you that you will probably feel that way after he is born too. Not that you don't have enough love, but that you don't have enough Mama to stretch, but you will. You're a great Mom with a big heart!lwdfud

Shelly said...

My 2nd dropped at 32 weeks, and then was a few days, it may be something, but it may be nothing....

Rambling On said...

Megan, The sadness is so normal. I felt sad reading this post to say good bye to Mamabean. Maybe you'll be Mapeabean. I feel this way too though, thinking of my last days here with just Cami and I, together. Boo hoo. But I just know in my heart, this baby will be just as number one to you as Bean is, but in a different, baby BOY number two way.

Kate said...

I was SO there-- the crying, the sense of tug and pull at the thought of adding another baby to our bunch...and I already had two! We had a five-and-a-half year space between the boys though, so when my daughter arrived three years later, I felt like I was losing a connection to my toddler I was not quite ready to give up...It was hard-- and there were quite a few tears on both ends for the first month or two. Just today, however, one of my girlfriends jokingly asked Max (so very,very three) if she could take his baby sister home. Horrified, he said "don't even think about it. She's OURS." And just like that, my heart swelled with gladness and I knew that families can grow and grow and grow, and the love and joy grows right along with them.

Peter and Nancy said...

I think I have you beat -- we found out we were expecting baby #2 the day after our oldest son's first birthday. I totally cried at the thought of our little mama-boy universe being over so soon. Then I felt guilty for the poor tiny speck of a baby.

Now, we have added a third child by adoption, and I've discovered that mother love is like a purse -- the bigger purse you have, the more stuff you put in and lug around. The more children God give you, the more your love will grow.

Three cheers for your tears and joy,

My Lil Family