rollercoastery

I'm back. I DID take another pregnancy test - about 30 minutes ago and yes indeed, the bun is still in the oven. The positive line is way way WAY stronger, so not only is the bun still in there, it's prgressing nicely.

I am feeling tired and overwhelmed today. Still no decent sleep last night. I woke up at 12:30 and 3:30 and each time it took me well over an hour to get back to sleep. I felt queasy for a long time - up until about noon, I think, but that sometimes happens to me when I don't sleep anyway, so maybe not related to the pregnancy yet. It's so early, really, for anything like morning sickness to kick in. Though of course not impossible.

Nevertheless Bean and I went out and ran some errands. It's SO cold outside, and windy. The wind just blasts away - I can hear it all around me in the house and it's a lonely, cold sound I don't care for. I love cold, either sunny or grey or snowy, but I don't like wind, regardless the temperature.

Everything still makes me cry. I heard that dumb "Met my old lover in the grocery store..." song, the one that ends with "and the snow.turned in.to. RAAAAAAAAAIN" (you know which one I'm talking about?) TWICE today while out running errands. On the loudspeakers in stores. Stores that were playing Christmas music. That is NOT a Christmas song - it's SAD. Anyway, TWICE, I had to just concentrate and make loud, distracting conversation with Bean and TRY not to hear that song because EVERY note of it just stabs at my little emotional heart. I seriously though I was going to have to sit down in the produce department at one point and just blubber like a baby. I also heard that Gloria Estafan song, "I Wanna See Christmas Through Your Eyes." Don't like that one much either and IT made me want to weep silently into the unsalted cream butter display.

Sigh. I really really loathe being emotional like this. It is SO not who I am.

On a positive note, I am laughing some again. I laughed a little yesterday and last night and then again this morning at the antics of Al and Bean. I can't remember specifics other than last night when we were going to sleep, Al was trying to set the sleep timer on our new bedroom TV. We already had the lights off and he hit the wrong button on the remote and accidentally ejected a DVD out of the side of the TV. (Which we'd never done before.) It fell out, rolled across the dresser and onto the floor, making a loud thud when it hit the carpet. We both just looked at one another wondering what on earth had happened. Al got up to investigate and found the CD and held it up, wide-eyed.

"It pooped out a telly-turd!"

OH MY GOSH. I really dislike that word, turd. I NEVER say it, and rarely find it even mildly amusing, but the way he said it, all surprised and full of wonder, it was just so incredibly perfectly timed and delivered. I thought I was going to wet the bed I was laughing so hard.

Anyway. I love to laugh. That I'm actually laughing again (the first few times since the stomach flu and the Big News) shows that I'm getting back to my normal self again. Which is a relief to me, even if it's scary to everyone else, hee hee.

But today HAS been a little harder. More like how I felt Tuesday, I guess. Tired and overwhelmed. I'm glad it's the weekend and I'll have Al here to lean on for a couple of days. I really need him to keep me rational when I'm all jumbled up like this.

I've had a few tiny little abdominal twinges today, but nothing of major consequence. I felt around for my cervix this morning it's all tucked way back and up like a dog's tail between its legs like it feels guilty or embarrassed or scolded. Naughty cervix! Hee hee.

No breast action either.

My nose is a little stuffy and I'm still thirsty like nobody's business.

I weighed about 131 lbs. this morning. That stomach bug was well timed. I'm starting this pregnancy at a really good, normal weight for me.

Food tastes extra good. Not as good as it tasted yesterday (ohmygosh yesterday I made beef stew over rice and I literally wanted to climb in the bowl and swim in it, it tasted so good to me!), but I'm tired, so that sortof explains it. I have to test out a couple of the dishes I'm making for the Christmas party this, so I hope my tastebuds are accurate. I'm bummed I won't be enjoying the pomegranate sangria I'm making as my featured cocktail. RATS!

blip in the plans

This morning I don't feel all that great, physically or emotionally. I'm a little queasy but also my stomach just HURTS. I assume that's not pregnancy but a symptom of my chronic GERD issues, triggered by a little STRESS?

Everything's getting on my nerves.

It's not too late for all of this to be PMS, either, and boy won't I have egg on my face if my period starts? (Unfertilized, boring old egg, that is.)

many things of varying degrees of consequence

I noticed a few days ago that I've been really thirsty lately. It was before the virus hit, so not related to the dehydration that would have caused. I feel thirsty almost constantly, but then I don't ever get around to drinking very often. I don't think I'm drinking like WAY less than I should be, it's just I feel thirsty. I was parched while I was pregnant with Bean, too, but dehydration was never an issue.

And I woke up SO HUNGRY at 2:00 AM this morning. SO HUNGRY. My head hurt and I felt completely hollow and achey and cavernous inside. And, because I didn't want to risk waking anyone else up, I just tried to ignore it and fall back to sleep. And didn't. For way too long. I think I only got a little less than 5 hours' sleep last night. Not good. But I'm not tired today.

I'm taking a banana upstairs and putting it in the bathroom tonight. That's not going to happen ever again!

Al and I talked about baby names last night. Boy names are TOUGH. He really isn't wild about the two top names I like for a boy.

He thinks the baby is a girl, anyway. He has been right about EVERY baby born to every person we've even remotely known since I met him. He was right about Bean from day one. So. We'll see. He loves Kathryn for a girl, shortened to Katie. I have to admit I love that name too. Kathryn, or Catherine, Rose. Pretty name.

Too soon to decide for sure though.

Oh, he likes Max for a boy.

All I can think of when he says that is "maxi pads." I don't want my kid to ever be called such a thing.

We also both like Gabriel, but Al's a little bit more southern than I am and he pronounces it "Gaybrul" which I can't stand. I can imagine that hearing your baby-daddy mispronounce his own kid's name could get a little tiresome after awhile. So that's a big no.

We stayed busy today, the Bean and me. We had to go to a last minute pow-pow at a neighbor's house this morning that we didn't find out about until 20 minutes beforehand and when we did find out we were both all unshowered and rumpled and in our pajamas, putting up Christmas decorations. You've never seen two ladies get clean, dressed and ready to go faster than us. It was like a cartoon. We made it though, only about 8 minutes late. And Bean even watched a few minutes of Sesame Street while I was in the shower.

I'm worried about clothes. I got rid of all my in-between clothes from last pregnancy. I mean the larger sized regular clothes. I think I have a pair of black pants I might can wear through the transition. (I wore them throughout Bean's pregnancy - they were my favorites.) And maybe since my jeans are lower rise they'll last awhile. As long as my butt doesn't get huge quickly. But that's pretty much it. I don't like wearing sweats or drawstringy casual pants out and about. I don't think it's BAD to do, it just isn't my particular style. Maybe I'll go look at Goodwill or something for some size 8s to get me through most of the winter. Then in the spring and summer I'll have my maternity things. Obviously they'll need a slight update here and there, but most of the pieces I have are kinda classic.

I went into the basement to get my Pregnancy Week by Week book today and found some of my old maternity and nursing bras. They're so HUGE. I almost screamed when I looked at them. I can't BELIEVE these little things are going to be that BIG again. How did they DO that? Bizarre. I swear I called myself "Jugs" (inside my own head of course!) though the entire second and third trimester last time. Why did those things not make enough milk? What were they DOING in there, if not filling up with milk.

Speaking of which, I had AWFUL, nightmarish engorgement when my milk came in with Bean. I DO NOT EVER WANT TO EXPERIENCE THAT KINDOF PAIN AGAIN. It was truly worse than labor. Should I buy or rent a hospital grade pump to get me through it? Did y'all have that problem, can you remember?

And I was so hot. SO HOT. After I delivered. For weeks! Why does that happen?

Okay I feel a bath coming on. I AM actually starting to feel a little sleepy now, finally.

Ow, pain in the lower left pelvis.

Hello little person! Whatcha doin' in there?

Thanks y'all. You are literally saving my little life right now.

and the happy hormones are a'crankin'

Today's been SOOOO much better, in every way! Thank you God!

Let's see. I'm barely nauseous anymore, so I guess it probably was just the tummy bug lingering yesterday. And I feel much less tired, too, I guess since I rested from 7 last night to 7 this morning. Not slept, but rested. I'm sure I needed it since I'd been up throwing up literally ALL NIGHT LONG Sunday night. And Monday night was little better.

Today I sortof eased into the day with Bean. I let her watch cartoons in my bed for awhile so I could read a few of my favorite blogs and rest more. We got up and ate at about 8:30, I think, and I ate another peanut butter South Beach bar but this time I added half a tangerine and a big glass of water. And I took my vitamins, too. And it all sat pretty well!

I did two loads of laundry, vaccuumed the entire house, wired thirty something yards of fake grapevine garland on the staircase, and some other stuff I can't remember right now. Then Bean and I took a bath. Which is nice because Bean loves to "wash" my hair, and it FEELS SO GREAT! She's finally developed a gentle enough touch that I don't wince, instead I can just relax and enjoy having her pour hot water over my hair and dabble around in it gently. I could easily fall asleep if I didn't have to sit upright for the deal.

Anyway, we took a bath. Then we had lunch. And Bean took her nap. And I tried to get our internet connection fixed (painter did something when he disconnected everything to move some furniture, ugh.)

Why am I daylogging? Not what I wanted to say at all. I guess that's all my way of saying I feel perky and good again and stayed active all day and I feel fine tonight, physically which makes me feel way better emotionally, too.

Thought more about baby names. I like Rose for a middle name. I've always loved the boy's name David too. (Hugs Jenn) And Culver (my maternal grandfather's surname) for a boy's middle name. Haven't run any of these by Al yet, though. But I did tell him I'd like a new crib for this baby. One that converts to a bed. Maybe I'll change my mind though. The old crib has Alex's teeth marks in it!

No breast twingies or cramps or anything today. My breasts do feel kindof sausage-y tight in my skin though. I remember that feeling from last time too. These things take on a life of their own in pregnancy. In a month, I won't be able to see my cute brown velvet shoes with the bows anymore. All I'll see when I look down are The Twins. Ugh.

I talked to my Mom again today. I think I mis-something'd what she said. She's not being mean when she says my being pregnant doesn't really impact her life. She's ... protecting herself. I live 1000 miles away from her and I'm 40 and pregnant. It scares her for me to be pregnant - I'm HER baby. And there isn't a DARN thing she can do for me from where she is. When she says, "It doesn't impact my life too much." I think she means, "I wish it did, but it can't/won't." Because I am so far away. She never says anything about it (stoic) but I don't imagine she's wild about my living so far away.

She sent me an email BEFORE I told her I was pregnant but AFTER I told her I'd gotten the bug. This is what it said:

Hope you feel all better soon. I have a gallon of turket broth in the fridge. Wish I had you here. I would make you the best soup on the planet when you felt like eating again and until then Al and Alex could survive on some. Love, Mom

I promise I'm not being defensive. I just wanted to slide this in here because I know my Mom loves me. If there's anything in the world I've learned from being a mother myself it's that you DO the BEST you can, and sometimes it is the right thing, and sometimes it's the wrong thing, and sometimes it just IS. And my Mom does the right thing about 98% of the time, which is maybe why the wrong things always feel so awful to me.

But thank you ALL for being so beautifully supportive and ALWAYS coming to my defense and rescue when you feel I'm being treated badly. That's the best feeling in the world, it really really is.

Anyway, where was I? I think I'll leave it at that for now.

Baby names. Thinking about cribs.

OH! At first (like yesterday) I was thinking this baby has to be a girl has to be a girl has to be a girl because well, what on earth would I do with a boy. But then today Bean said, "Mom, yer my bess friend" and I realized, if this baby IS a girl, Bean and I might not be able to BE bess friends anymore. We might have to share that, or the new baby girl might take my place. But if it's a boy, he'd have his own special role. He'd be my little buddy. And Bean would always be my bess friend. I know it sounds silly, but in my own little head it makes PERFECT sense.

And makes it okay for this to be a girl, or a boy. So I will live with it!

I haven't taken another pregancy test. I guess I should. And make an appointment with my OB/GYN. I don't even know where the good birthing hospital is around here.

Mama likes her luxury hospitals. Five star all the way, baby.

the wee hours of the morning

Still queasy this morning and rapidly losing hope all the nausea can be attributed to the stomach bug! Panic panic.

I feel better emotionally this morning though, and I can directly attribute that to the fact that every one of you are saying such wonderful, helpful, TRUE, supportive things when you comment. I also told my friend and neighbor Nicki yesterday and she jumped up and down, squealed and hugged me and then sat and listened and supported and hugged me more while I cried.

I am SO much more emotional already this pregnancy than I was with Bean. It's crazy! I just feel like crying all the time, and when I search deep down inside myself I'm all "What is so sad you need to cry?" and there's no rational answer, I just. Do. Need to cry. It feels like the worst PMS I've ever had. I don't seem to own my own brain right now.

Also, I already have THE NOSE. When B and I were at the grocery store yesterday I was literally ASSAULTED with smells around ever corner. Perfumes, foods, cleaning agents. This has been going on for a couple of days now.

I'm having lots of stretchy little aches and cramps in my abdomen. Not painful or scary, just, you know, there. My breasts did that little elecrical thing more yesterday, too, although mostly the left one, which interestingly enough was always the one that produced more milk when I was nursing Bean. And as I recall it did more of the electrical stuff with her pregnancy too. She preferred it to the right one when she nursed. Sometimes she'd fidget and fuss at the right and then would settle down happily at the left. And the left is slightly bigger, pregnant or not, as well. Interesting.

My mom (Nana) called yesterday to see how I was feeling from the stomach flu, and I told her I'm pregnant. She screamed (like she'd seen a cartoon mouse, is how I'd describe it). Not like a serious, OMG! scream, more like a laughing Oh Wow THAT'S a shock! scream. She seems happy/humored by my news, I suppose. She said It doesn't really impact her life much. And, well, no, as sortof brutal as that sounded initially, I suppose it doesn't. It's hard to believe that while I sit and worry frantically about how it will change my family's life, really, we're the only people who will notice the change much at all.

I haven't told my sister yet. I think I'd like to, even though she hasn't told me about any of her pregnancies until she's been in her second trimester. I'm thinking I might want to blog about this experience though, in the public blog and she reads there, so.

The house is back together after all the painting. It looks nice. I was completely shattered (as Jemma would say, or do you say that Jemma?) by nightfall after all of the emotional upheaval and the day's worth of activity and then getting the house put back together. I went to bed at 7 pm. Makes me wonder how much of the stuff I'd planned to do this year for Christmas - and I had a lot planned - may have to be set aside for a few years. I'm dying to decorate though but first I have to clean all the floors and dust and stuff as I'd put all that off until after the painters came. Then I can decorate.

We're having a holiday party on December 15. Probably 24ish people. I just have to make cocktails and a few appetizers because it's a progressive party, but even the thought of that is kindof scary now. I also promised myself I'd make a gingerbread house and decorate it and bake the ham biscuits for the neighbors (I'd be making close to 150 biscuits if I made them for everyone I want to make them for) (and biscuits are complicated!) Maybe I'll by the frozen, bagged biscuits and just put the ham in and be done with it. I'd hate to not do it at all.

The Christmas cookies I really wouldn't mind skipping. The shopping's mostly all done except a few stocking stuffers. Just have to wrap.

OHMYGOSH I'M SO HUNGRY ALL OF A SUDDEN.

I mentioned to Al that now might be a good time to go ahead and finish our basement, so we can have a proper play room and place for Bean and me to go sometimes during the day when the baby is sleeping and stuff. He said, "I was thinking that too!" It's nice to be in synch with him. The idea of construction in the house every day sounds awful, but having that comfy place down there for all of us, and an extra place for visiting family, would be so nice and would potentially cut down on my worry factor.

I should try to go back to sleep for a little while now.

more stuff from today

Argh. The painter is playing country music. Just loud enough. Well, I think it's country. Anyway, that, in combination with the paint fumes and the remnants of the tummy bug are all combining right now to make for a very green, very uncomfortable, very "this is not my house" feeling. I'm sitting in my own house, feeling like I don't belong.

Which is kinda how I feel about being pregnant. Like it's a nice enough way to be, just not where I belong. I'm 40. I know, 40s not that old... lots of women choose to have babies in their 40s and it all works out well for them. And it'll likely work out just fine for us, too. I worry though that my Advanced Maternal Age will lead to a baby with problems. A child who will have more needs, who will suffer. I pray not.

The whole house is a complete disaster - I've had to move everything around, take stuff off of walls and shelves, etc. - for the painters. We've eaten our meals on the beds upstairs (Picnics!), and my lifeblood, my cord of life, my connection to the internet, is currently disconnected, so I'm typing this on Notepad because I have to write. I have to talk.

Bean and I got up and dressed this morning. I forced down a peanut butter South Beach Bar, which was gross, but I had to eat something. I actually felt a lot better after eating that, so I decided we'd go to the grocery store. When I got all dressed and ready and looked in the mirror at myself, I felt pretty good again. I look more like myself today. I put on my cute jeans, my little teal sweater and my brown velvet shoes with the bows, and my hair looked nice, and I thought, "A woman who looks young and vibrant like this... this woman can carry a baby. And do it well." And we went to the grocery store. On the way, both of my breasts did that electrical thing at the same time. I know now, this time around, that it feels quite a bit like milk letting down. Not as strong, but very similar. It's amazing that while my mind and soul are still trying to deny and fight the concept of a pregnancy, my body is all full-speed ahead, growing this baby, getting all the systems lined up again.

A body like that can carry a baby, too.

I shopped with Alex walking along beside me, my little buddy. Not in the cart, like she's been for so long, because recently she's begun to do very well at staying with me and "helping me shop," rather than running off so that I have to chase after her, or touching and grabbing things so that I'm constantly having to tell her to put things back, stop touching, etc. We had a good time. I bought a 3 lb. box of Cheez-Its. I ate SO MANY CHEEZ-ITS when I was carrying Bean. I'm surprised she wasn't born an orange square. Also bought some gingerale. I had no morning sickness at all with Bean. I have a scary feeling I may not be so lucky this time, although it's too soon to tell because the queasiness I feel right now may certainly be the bug, still. I don't WANT a very different pregnancy this time. I want a very similar one to Bean's, if only to give me some sense of "I've done this before it's no big deal I can manage it again." Obviously it'll be different circumstantially - I live in a new place, I already have one child, I'm not going to work every day. But physically, I'd love to FEEL the same as I did with Bean. That'd be good.

Good Heavens this music is GRATING on my nerves. I'm a basket case.

You know, before I got pregnant, I knew exactly what I'd name another baby if I had one. Now, the names I've picked out don't sound that great to me.

Still toying with Lorelai for a girl though. Still think that one's a goodie.

Rory for short. Alex and Rory. Not bad? Is it too silly to name your kid after both Gilmore Girls? At least they got cancelled, right? Few years time, no one will even remember.

And to think, I pictured myself ending up with a CAT named Lorelai. Just so I'd get to use the name.

waiting for the happy hormones

Yesterday was no fun! Except reading comments/notes here... those were fun.

I spent the whole day in bed, trying to sleep but not being all that successful except a few catnaps here and there, maybe a total of 2 hours over the course of the day. Al took care of Bean, and was very sweet to me. Bean was extra cute, too.

I am freaking out. I'm sad, depressed, scared, angry... all the things I shouldn't be. All the things I've been afraid I would be if I ever got pregnant again. What if I don't get over these feelings? What if this baby is doomed to be resented? What if I can't love it?

I was just so done with this baby phase of life. I don't know if I can do it again. I'm just finally feeling like I can do a few things that I want to do... the new blog, a few household/crafting projects. I feel, with Bean at 3, so ... free. Well, free-er than I did when she was small. I'm having to adjust my thinking about everything now. We'd planned to start traveling again - we were dating and feeling young and in love again. I could see the future - us, Bean... taking on the world together. She's so easy to do things with, so happy and flexible and grown up for her age.

I don't know. I'm just not in a very baby place right now.

I feel so different from the way I felt when I found out about Bean. I was soooooooooo elated. Felt so peaceful and ready and started planning and dreaming of her immediately. This time I'm still thinking maybe it's a mistake... maybe a false positive? Maybe life can just stay how it is afterall?

I know this all sounds awful. You're all so happy and excited and here I sit, the MAMA of the baby, wishing I could BE excited, waiting for those feelings to kick in. What if they don't?

I don't want to share myself with anyone else right now. I want to be Bean's Mama and Al's wife. I'm good at those things, most days.

Physically, I do wonder if some of this nausea is morning sickness. I know at least part of it is the bug because I've had fever and diahrrea too and that's not common in morning sickness, plus the timing of when it started. I feel a little bit better this morning although still nauseous (but not vomiting) and I still have awful diahrrea. (Sorry!) I do think the fever is gone right now because the aches are gone. I still just wan to sleep all day but that won't be an option because Al has to go to work for sure and the painters will be here all day again finishing the living room.

I've had a few of those sharp little electrical twingey feelings in my left nipple since last Friday... I remember those from early in my pregnancy with Bean. I've also had a few one-sided little pains in my pelvic area, too, just like with Bean. I had lots of spotting from mid-cycle to just a few days ago, but nothing at all since Saturday. My skin seems very clear.

I've lost about 4 pounds in the last 36 hours, and I weigh about 129.5 this morning, maybe a little big less. I'm drinking water and I ate a few crackers last night, but other than that, the thought of anything to eat or drink just sounds awful. I didn't have any morning sickness with Bean, so I'll be interested to see if the nausea I feel today goes away with the bug or if maybe I'm going to have some this time. I sure hope not.

Al seems somewhat bothered and confused by my reaction to all this news. He's wanted another baby for awhile now, though I think he'd finally accepted that we weren't going to do it. When I showed him the test Sunday night, he couldn't see the second line for a long time, and then he finally did. He didn't seem happy or unhappy, though. He just went to bed and slept all night while I worried and tossed and turned and then the bug hit and I was busy vomiting while he slept. I don't know how to tell him what I need from him. I don't KNOW what I need from him. He was so much better yesterday - smiling and playing with Bean and taking care of me. He hasn't said much about this baby, other than a few times saying, "See how sweet Bean is? You know you wanna have another one just like her!"

I wish it were that simple. I really really do.

brace yourself

Hiya!

I don't know if anyone reads this diary anymore. Well, I mean, nobody reads it currently because I haven't updated it in awhile, obviously, but I don't know if any of you have this one on your buddy list still. If you do, wow, are you in for a big surprise.

Like I was. Just a minute ago. When, after feeling weird and just different for a few days, I randomly took a pregnancy test and, well.

Two Pink Lines. The second is very faint, but it's there alright. I have sorta suspected this was coming for over a week now. My body just knows when it's pregnant.

We weren't trying. But remember I've said before if God decided He wanted us to have another little baby and I got pregnant despite my efforts to thwart such a thing, I'd be overjoyed and know it was His plan? Well, here we have it! Though the overjoyedness hasn't quite happened yet, I feel confident that it will.

I will post more here later. And, as long as everything goes well over the next few weeks, move this all over to Mamabean and - OHMYGOSH I can't believe I'm saying this - start documenting another pregnancy, birth, and babyhood.

Jiminy Cricket. I'm pregnant.

And really, really shocked and scared.

And, edited hours later to add, I have Alex's tummy bug, so I've been up all night vomiting and worrying.

all belly, all the time

Weekly belly photos (from 5 weeks) start right after this new "time-lapse" video of belly growth from week 19 to the present:

5 weeks, 4 days
Only thing to see here is the leftover flubber from Bean and some pasty white winter skin.


8 weeks, 2 days
No bump, but my abdomen is beginning to look like a tree trunk. "Slight thickening," my foot! It already feels and looks as though I have intestines up around my ribcage. Which I probably do.


10 weeks
Ho hum! Nothing goin' on on the outside, but there IS a baby in there, I have seen it with mine own two eyes now.


11 weeks, 2 days
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Last pregnancy this time, I was getting frustrated that there were no outward signs. This time I'm wiser and enjoying life in my "normal" winter clothes and being thankful for a slow-growing belly. All in good time, my pretty. All in good time.


12 weeks, 1 day
BOING! The position of the waistband of these pants doesn't really show off the huge change the belly has made in the past week, but you can definitely tell there's been a change. Clothed, it's now pretty evidently round and bumpish.


13 weeks
Yeah, I know. Where'd it go? Oh well, like I said, False Belly Alarm last week! Back to my normal self mostly again. Pardon the pajamas - I'll be back to jeans next time - this time I was in a big old hurry!

14 weeks
I skipped the 14 week picture because we were at the beach with my family and on that Friday I was a big ol' constipated, bloated gasbag from all the delicious but disagreeable to the Mama-tummy fried seafood and such. I looked like I eventually will at about 34 weeks. It was most unpleasant to look at AND feel. My Mom pointed at me in horror at one point and said, "Megan, you're HOW far along?" When I told her, her eyes got huge and she said, "I predict you're going to be HUGE in a few months!!!" Ha ha, fooledja Mom! As I recall actual baby bump is much more fun.


15 weeks
Yeah, I know. Still kinda dull from the outside. I think if I were a thinner person to begin with, you'd see more, but I guess there's plenty o' camouflage in that flubber of mine.



16 weeks
It just must be a very tall, thin baby. That's all I can figure out. I know he/she is in there and growing because I can feel the top of my uterus moving up and up, but dang, this thing just won't make a bump!



17 weeks
Grainy picture - Mama's gettin' lazy with these belly shots. We have a doctor's appointment today, so I'll update about that later. The belly IS growing. I should push in the top part, right below my sternum. It's so saggy up there that the belly just sorta blends in. But when I lie on my back there is a pretty noticeable little round protrusion right where it should be. Hold on, lemme see if I can take a picture of that...



17 Weeks, So You Can Actually See Sump'm!
AHA! There we go! See? BUMP!


18 Weeks, New Angle Option


18 weeks, Old Angle


19 Weeks.
Other women get cute little shapely baby bumps. I get a beer belly.


19 Weeks with the assistance of gravity.
The baby isn't so bunched up anymore. The bump is longer from top to bottom, but not poking out quite so far. Right?


20 Weeks.
Halfway there. Looks bigger this week!


20 Weeks View 2.
Definitely bigger. Definitely.


21 weeks.
Fat bellied Mama! (That's my finger from the hand in the back, not my belly button!)


21 weeks, View 2.
I used my hand to press down all the extra baggage around my midsection so you can see the shape of the bump. It's really growing these days! But I still have on my regular jeans. WOOT!


22 Weeks.


22 Weeks, View 2.


22 Weeks, Face.
Photo by Bean. I don't know why I look so pained. I'm really not pained at all.


23 Weeks.


23 Weeks, View 2.


24 Weeks


24 Weeks, View 2


25 Weeks


25 Weeks, View 2


27 Weeks


27 Weeks, View 2


29 Weeks - Whole Self, Whoohoooo!


30 Weeks


30 Weeks, View 2


30 Weeks, Face


31 Weeks


31 Weeks, View 2


32 Weeks


32 Weeks, View 2


32 Weeks, Front View
Tiny belly button. Still no stretch marks. Thank you, heredity.


35 Weeks. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!


35 Weeks, View 2


35 Weeks, Front View. Belly button still hanging in there!


37 Weeks


37 Weeks, Side View


38 Weeks


38 Weeks View Two


38 Weeks, Belly Button Will. Not. Give. Up.


41 Weeks (Peanut was born at 39 weeks, 6 days.)


41 weeks with belly's previous contents.


41 weeks, View 2


41 weeks, View 2 with former tenant.