Wednesday, November 28, 2007

and the happy hormones are a'crankin'

Today's been SOOOO much better, in every way! Thank you God!

Let's see. I'm barely nauseous anymore, so I guess it probably was just the tummy bug lingering yesterday. And I feel much less tired, too, I guess since I rested from 7 last night to 7 this morning. Not slept, but rested. I'm sure I needed it since I'd been up throwing up literally ALL NIGHT LONG Sunday night. And Monday night was little better.

Today I sortof eased into the day with Bean. I let her watch cartoons in my bed for awhile so I could read a few of my favorite blogs and rest more. We got up and ate at about 8:30, I think, and I ate another peanut butter South Beach bar but this time I added half a tangerine and a big glass of water. And I took my vitamins, too. And it all sat pretty well!

I did two loads of laundry, vaccuumed the entire house, wired thirty something yards of fake grapevine garland on the staircase, and some other stuff I can't remember right now. Then Bean and I took a bath. Which is nice because Bean loves to "wash" my hair, and it FEELS SO GREAT! She's finally developed a gentle enough touch that I don't wince, instead I can just relax and enjoy having her pour hot water over my hair and dabble around in it gently. I could easily fall asleep if I didn't have to sit upright for the deal.

Anyway, we took a bath. Then we had lunch. And Bean took her nap. And I tried to get our internet connection fixed (painter did something when he disconnected everything to move some furniture, ugh.)

Why am I daylogging? Not what I wanted to say at all. I guess that's all my way of saying I feel perky and good again and stayed active all day and I feel fine tonight, physically which makes me feel way better emotionally, too.

Thought more about baby names. I like Rose for a middle name. I've always loved the boy's name David too. (Hugs Jenn) And Culver (my maternal grandfather's surname) for a boy's middle name. Haven't run any of these by Al yet, though. But I did tell him I'd like a new crib for this baby. One that converts to a bed. Maybe I'll change my mind though. The old crib has Alex's teeth marks in it!

No breast twingies or cramps or anything today. My breasts do feel kindof sausage-y tight in my skin though. I remember that feeling from last time too. These things take on a life of their own in pregnancy. In a month, I won't be able to see my cute brown velvet shoes with the bows anymore. All I'll see when I look down are The Twins. Ugh.

I talked to my Mom again today. I think I mis-something'd what she said. She's not being mean when she says my being pregnant doesn't really impact her life. She's ... protecting herself. I live 1000 miles away from her and I'm 40 and pregnant. It scares her for me to be pregnant - I'm HER baby. And there isn't a DARN thing she can do for me from where she is. When she says, "It doesn't impact my life too much." I think she means, "I wish it did, but it can't/won't." Because I am so far away. She never says anything about it (stoic) but I don't imagine she's wild about my living so far away.

She sent me an email BEFORE I told her I was pregnant but AFTER I told her I'd gotten the bug. This is what it said:

Hope you feel all better soon. I have a gallon of turket broth in the fridge. Wish I had you here. I would make you the best soup on the planet when you felt like eating again and until then Al and Alex could survive on some. Love, Mom

I promise I'm not being defensive. I just wanted to slide this in here because I know my Mom loves me. If there's anything in the world I've learned from being a mother myself it's that you DO the BEST you can, and sometimes it is the right thing, and sometimes it's the wrong thing, and sometimes it just IS. And my Mom does the right thing about 98% of the time, which is maybe why the wrong things always feel so awful to me.

But thank you ALL for being so beautifully supportive and ALWAYS coming to my defense and rescue when you feel I'm being treated badly. That's the best feeling in the world, it really really is.

Anyway, where was I? I think I'll leave it at that for now.

Baby names. Thinking about cribs.

OH! At first (like yesterday) I was thinking this baby has to be a girl has to be a girl has to be a girl because well, what on earth would I do with a boy. But then today Bean said, "Mom, yer my bess friend" and I realized, if this baby IS a girl, Bean and I might not be able to BE bess friends anymore. We might have to share that, or the new baby girl might take my place. But if it's a boy, he'd have his own special role. He'd be my little buddy. And Bean would always be my bess friend. I know it sounds silly, but in my own little head it makes PERFECT sense.

And makes it okay for this to be a girl, or a boy. So I will live with it!

I haven't taken another pregancy test. I guess I should. And make an appointment with my OB/GYN. I don't even know where the good birthing hospital is around here.

Mama likes her luxury hospitals. Five star all the way, baby.

No comments:

My Lil Family