35 Weeks, 1 Day

So I was officially at 35 weeks yesterday, which was the Fourth of July.

We had a somewhat quiet day, just the three of us, going out to breakfast, playing outside in the backyard, painting fireworks on newspaper on the back porch, grilling hamburgers and watching fireworks from the grade school parking lot.

The Thursday before that, which was day before yesterday, I woke up to LOTS of hip and lower back pain and some crampy feelings low in my abdomen. The previous day had seemed like one LOOOOOOOOOOONG Braxton Hicks contraction - with almost no breaks. I drank water and Gatorade all day long and spent part of that afternoon (Wednesday) lying in bed on my left side, hoping I could make the contraction ease up a bit, but no such luck. So anyway on Thursday morning, the pain lasted maybe 2 or three hours and then gradually dissipated. But for a while there I started to think maybe ... maybe ... but nope. Not so far, anyway. I'm having lots of that grinding cervical pain though, from Peanut's head mooshing down, down, down. I think he HAS moved down, too, because the heartburn is slightly better and the need to go potty allatime is slightly worse. Thursday when I had all the lower back and hip pain, I think I went every 15 minutes or so all day long. The nights haven't been bad so far though - I normally only have to get up once around 1 or 2 AM and then again when Al gets up for work at 5, but I'm normally up for the day then anyway so it's not a big deal.

I've been really, um, irritable? Frustrated? Just needing my SPACE the past few days -- I think due to not getting enough sleep, getting NO time to myself and maybe a little bit of just plain hormones. I really just crave some really deep, still quietness and some space, just for me, with no one to listen to or help. No one moving around, bouncing and bumping. Just PEACE and aloneness, for a few hours. I don't know -- it feels unlike anything I've really felt in my life, this ache to just withdraw into nothingness. It doesn't ever happen though, and it probably really won't happen. I just think Al has so many things on his agenda to do when he's home that except for brief periods of time, even when he's here, I'm still mostly with Bean. It's hard not to resent it when I feel the way I do, but I know he needs space too, and time to do things around here because he's at work so much. And he does do things with her from time to time and I get a little break, but it's somehow never quite enough to satisfy my needs. Blah.

I took pictures yesterday, finally, and they're posted in the belly gallery. I wish I had more to report. Peanut's still very active in there, despite the contractions and how big he is and cramped. He juts out limbs, one on each side, from time to time, and waggles his hands around, which are down low, and I swear he touches my hipbones with them.

And that's about it for now. Maybe more sometime soonish? Oh, yes, soon because I have a doctor's appointment on Monday and she'll be doing an internal exam, so I can at least tell you what she says about that. I do know my cervix is REALLY soft and squishy right now, but that's all I can determine from where I sit.