Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Matthew, Day 6 - Poop and Mr. Peabody

I owe y'all a birth story. And me, too. A lot of it was such a whirlwind that it may be hard to get the facts straight, but I'll do my best. Soon. I know it'll be emotional to relive and write about. Parts of it were so-o-o-o hard and scary (whoops I'm tearing up just thinking about thinking about it) but I HAVE to say this - I've had a feeling it would go the way it went, starting many months ago. Not that I think I'm psychic, just that something inside me physically knew. I don't know how to explain it. But I knew. When the decision was made I'd have a C-section, I didn't feel surprise really - I just felt resignation. Not peace, though. I feel peaceful NOW, because my baby and I are fine. And that's what matters.

But I'm not ready to dig into all of that stuff yet. I'll have to do it soon or it'll all be out the window, memory-wise, but not quite yet.

For now, I have a few updates and facts to share. Someday, I think I'd like to write a pretty detailed account of the c-section and my recovery. I haven't looked for books on the subject but I don't see much in the way of "What to Expect if You Have a C-Section" information on the internet. I'd love to have found a day by day account of recovery along with a "here's what it is like to have a baby on the operating table via emergency c-section instead of in the birthing suite (or at home, etc. etc.)" to read the day after my surgery - to (hopefully) find out some of my feelings were normal and what the next days held in store for me. Obviously I have MORE days in store for me, too.

So that's why I want to write the blow by blow - for others to discover maybe and help them know what to expect. What I did find was SO general - just, "Most patients take about 6 weeks to fully recover from this major surgery." Well, okay but MORE PLEASE.

So anyway!

I'm healing pretty well, I think. I'm down to just Tylenol for pain now (I've been on Vicodin and Celebrex since the spinal block and morphine wore off) and really my surgery site/abdomen are virtually pain-free as long as I don't let the Tylenol dosing get too far behind. BUT - my back hurts worse than my front and it can get downright awful in the late day/nighttime. I guess that's from the epidural? I suspect that if I continue to take it easy and let other people do stuff for me I will feel pretty good within another day or two, which is a great thought to focus on.

I have finally POOPED! It took until yesterday afternoon (so nearly a week!), and Nana was getting a little stressed out about it, but it never bothered me - I mean I never felt like, "Ohmygosh I have poop in my throat, so full of poop am I!!" or anything.

Anyway. That "crisis" has passed. I know. Thanks for sharing, right?

My milk is in fully, although there's still a tiny hint of colostrum present judging from its color, and Matthew mostly nurses really well WHEN HE IS READY -- I am finally (after 5 days, I mean) figuring out his little quirks and tricks and the work-arounds for both. (He likes to nuzzle and nudge and snorfle a LOT, and sometimes doesn't want to nurse so much as he just wants to make out with my nipples while he contemplates life or tries to poop! Hee hee.) Breast pain is minimal, thank the LORD. Last night AFTER I fed him, I managed to pump THREE OUNCES of glorious golden nectar for storage. I am astounded at how accomplished and RICH that makes me feel. Maybe I can get my hair cut while Nana is here, even!

Bean has been a little bit attitudey but LOVES Peanut so much so far. She's helping a lot, is very involved and interested and loving. But she's also clingy and loud in turns, trying to capture my attention, and her normally gracious manners and politeness have slipped a bit. I'm trying to keep the discipline at a NORMAL level (not too high, not too low) but it's hard to get a good balance when I'm divided. I'll keep working on it.

Al's been good about helping too, when he's here. He gets up in the night with me and sometimes alone when there's nothing else we can do to please the little guy besides rocking or bouncing him. I got NO sleep to speak of Monday night, but last night I think I got about 4 hours, which felt like a LOT. I actually feel crazy-good today after "so much" sleep, hee hee.

Nana's running the household/cleaning-out/organizing things. And cooking. A lot. Which is nice! Because I am HUNGRY!

Matthew had his first tummy time today - it was pretty short but I had him lying with his head on a burp cloth that had some breast milk on it and he turned his little head and started rooting and bobbing around trying to figure out WHERE THAT SMELL, THAT HEAVENLY HEAVENLY SMELL was coming from, which did require major neck and head control. He actually ALREADY holds his head up very well - he did from the beginning. He's amazingly strong, but then we knew he would be, didn't we, from all of that strong movement and pushing he's done since I could feel him.

And he is beautiful, and oh so sweet. I just adore him - his tiny little flashes of smile when he looks into my face, his little birdie mouth poking around for me when he's hungry, his sweet little chicken wing arms and legs (the poor thing got so skinny at first, more later on that -- but he's gaining well now!) his fuzzy little head! He's SCRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUMPTIOUS.

More later. (Not later today though!) But soon, I promise!


Melissa said...

It's so wonderful to see you writing about it all. You know I know where you are coming from on so many accounts (except the C-section part). And I know how wonderful and glorious the milk-factory can feel. And the "making out with my nipples" part. :o) Hee hee. He'll find his way, and then there are the grunts and the gulps and the sweet nuzzle times to come. I'm glad your breasts aren't hurting, because MAN that was torture! Ugh!
Anyways, keep up the good mama-ness, and let Nana keep up the house. SUCH a blessing that she could be there to help right now.

T with Honey said...

I didn't have a c-section but I have had plenty of abdominal surgery including one incision that my OB promised to re-use if I had needed a c-section. If your back pain is in your lower back there is a good chance that it us just radiating through from the front. I get that all the time.

Plus your ab muscles have been weakened from being cut apart. Your back is trying to pick up the slack when every you stand, lift, try to stay erect. It is gonna be sore. Tylenol and a good hot pad is your best friend unless you know a masseuse!

BerryBusyMom said...

I also had the back pain, but I am almost positive that it was epidural related (because I had the same pain with Reece's birth as well as the girls'). My pain was more to my side (left side) and was just at the bottom of my rib cage, and it brought tears. The tears were a combination of pain and frustration. Also it was more like a spasm - especially if I was standing for a while.

I don't really remember much incision pain, just back pain. But the pain passed for me in a couple of weeks.

Glad to hear that the breastfeeding is going so well - keep up the good work. Keep drinking your water!! I also agree that there needs to be a C-section guide! More than likely everything that you are experiencing is absolutely normal.

I also understand Bean - Reece was that way. You sound like you are doing the right thing. I was so tired that I was probably too firm with him. But we all survived (I think!)

Keep resting - thanks for the update.

Mari said...

I'm so happy to hear that you have pooped! It's a big deal you know. Us nurses worry about that kind of thing! As far as Matthew messing around while he's nursing, it's easily explained. He's a male!

Alice said...

"He likes to nuzzle and nudge and snorfle a LOT, and sometimes doesn't want to nurse so much as he just wants to make out with my nipples while he contemplates life or tries to poop!"

Hahahahahaha!!! This made me laugh so much, hehe! And I know exactly what you're describing ;)

HOW very excited I am to see an update! I love reading absolutely everything you have to say about, well, anything! :) But especially the news about how you're doing and how Matthew is settling in this side of the, er, mama! You're doing GREAT, and I'm so happy about it!

I know I'm a crazy crazy (crazy) woman, but I confess I'm slightly envious of your situation right now! Well, wistful pang-ish anyway. Enjoy it all, soak it allll up, it's so precious! And be sure to tell us all about it while you do :)


Jenn said...

I agree that sometimes your body just KNOWS things. When I had my miscarriage I wasn't surprised (I wasn't happy or resigned either but I expected it from the time I found out I was pregnant, it just didn't 'feel' right). And in that same way, I knew that everything with Aislyn WOULD be fine. I was terrified at the thought of having a c-section though! Mostly because there is a needle & pain medication involved! I don't know how I would have handled that.

Yay for poop!

I am SO HAPPY to hear that the nursing is going well for you this time. I remember how you struggled with that before and it just makes me very glad to hear that you are doing so great now. :)

Riley was exactly the same as Bean when Boo was first born! She will grow out of quickly, as soon as she realizes that you are still her Mama and everyone loves her just as much as before. And it will get even BETTER as soon as Peanut (sorry! Matthew!) is old enough to play WITH her. Trust me! :)

I love him already! Must have mooooore PICTURES! ;)

Also. What color is Matthew's (hey, I remembered to use his name! Woo!) nursery? I can't remember if you posted photos (I'm pretty sure you did but after rooting around in archives I can't find any and I'm a bit lazy!) or not. And I, you know, NEED to know. :)

Jenn said...

OH OH. And boy is Matthew going to LOOOOOVE the "making out with my nipples" bit when he gets older. Hahah. You are too funny, I love you!

Beth (A Mom's Life) said...

My first was born via emergency C-Section. The umbilical cord had wrapped around his neck and every time I had a contraction his heart rate plummeted so...C-Section it was.

And let me tell you, afterwards I was pissed off. I was sad. I felt cheated. I was mad. Yes, I was happy I had my little one and that he was safe and sound but I didn't get MY birth story. I didn't get to push. I didn't get to do it the way I had planned.

And I still to this day can't watch "A Birth Story" on TLC because I start to feel mad,cheated,angry,etc all over again.

On a happier note - I'm glad you pooped!

Rambling On said...

Pooping...yeah, I remember that. It is so funny how it becomes such an ordeal when you haven't done it for a while. The C-section put me in a bit of a fog and I was disappointed in how little I could do in the first few days to take care of the baby. I agree with you that there isn't enough info or personal stuff to help new moms feel "normal". A C-section in any case is traumatic, especially in an emergency rush rush type situation, and there can be some grief that comes with that. You'll probably go through a gammit of emotions for years to come (but I hope not) and all of them will be NORMAL. You did great, mama, no matter what and just listen to your body during the recover. Also, get some Vitamin E oil for the scar and once it heals more start massaging it to prevent keloids or bumpy scars. You can probably start Vit. E in the next week or so. Great stuff. Let me know if you have questions about the section or recovery.

Kelly @ Love Well said...

There's nothing I love more than a birth story, even if it's not the one you originally wanted to write. I look forward to the novel.

THAT HEAVENLY SMELL! :-) Totally made me laugh out loud. Teyla still does that. When she's tired, she snuffles into my neck and inhales. Nothing like Mom's scent.

My Lil Family